Mr. Spencer,
Now that I'm in college do I get to call you John? I like how that sounds. Hey John, I think you're being too hard on yourself. I know you spoke at conferences and led trainings and all of that. I think you're afraid that people might consider you a phony. You mentioned that you get impatient. You talk about having projects that failed. However, you are not Gilderoy Lockhart and you never were. You never pretended to be anything more than you were. You were a humble teacher. I remember you saying that sometimes you get angry and sometimes you shame kids and all of that. But I never saw that. You were Lupin, teaching us the defense against the dark arts (in our case AIMS and shallow thinking) and letting us see the boogie man was a boggart. You knew that there was the werewolf inside of you, but you were teaching us well and fighting for the Order of Phoenix. That was you, helping us see that from the ashes something healing can happen. Thanks.
I re-read the e-mail. I still have moments when I feel like a fraud. I still feel like I get impatient. I've had times a few years back when I yelled. But maybe he's right. Maybe I'm not a phony, because I've apologized.
A student stops by this morning and asks if we can talk about a math word problem from yesterday.
"Mr. Spencer, I think it was an unfair problem," he says nervously.
"Why's that?"
"Well, I'm a 49ers fan, too. However, asking us to compare the passing percentage of Rodgers and Smith wasn't fair. The Niners have the best defense in the league and the Packers have no defense at all."
I nod my head and say, "You're right. I wrote a bad problem. You're absolutely right. I'm sorry."
"Thanks," he says.
That interaction has me thinking of the e-mail from this morning. Maybe I'm not Gilderoy Lockhart. I think again about Professor Remus Lupin. He was humble and grateful and approachable as a teacher. He made class interactive and meaningful. Students saw that the subject mattered while he taught it. If that's how a former student sees me, I can't think of too many better compliments.
I hate to admit that I need that affirmation. A part of me wants to say I can see myself objectively. However, I can't. Up until this week, I saw myself as just treading water. Now I realize that I'm swimming and that I'm loving it. I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to wear a mask. I'm doing okay and I'm having a blast in the process.
It's good to be back.
photo credit: andy castro via photo pin cc
Reminds me of my own reflections.
ReplyDeletehttp://beyondcatsandangrybirds.blogspot.com/2012/05/from-ballet-to-rocket-science-and-back.html
As learning advocates, we are artists!
Thanks for the link!
DeleteIf you need students to tell you that you are a good teacher, you're listening to the wrong people.
ReplyDeleteWho should I be listening to?
DeleteAre you even a teacher? Getting positive feedback like this from a student you really respect is an amazing compliment. I always look at a message from a student when I get a difficult class or have an altercation with a negative student and remember that some people appreciate the job I do. Who better to tell you you are doing a good job than the people who sit in front of you every day for a year.
DeleteThat was very sweet of your ex-student. More remarkable was that he used analogies using Harry Potter, which you like (don't we all?). But perhaps most remarkable of all was that he bothered to email you his thoughts and affirmations. Now, if only more people did that, more people would be happy, no?
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure you didn't say Lupin when you wondered which Hogwarts' professor you saw yourself as....not that I remember perfectly!
Pretty cool. I think the cool part of social media is that students can see what their former teachers are into (in this case Harry Potter). It was a great analogy.
DeleteIt certainly has me thinking about affirmation and how we need it as humans.
Mary, the angels, and the saints who were not martyrs. White vestments are also worn on the Solemnity of St. Joseph, and the Feasts of All Saints, St. John the Baptist, St. John the Evangelist, the Chair of St. Peter, and the Conversion of St. Paul. White may also be used for Masses of Christian Burial and Masses for the Dead to signify the resurrection of Jesus.
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Another reason is that black vestments are worn for funerals and black represents the color of death.
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How likely is it that we will face something that will change out lives so much that we will need these things.
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