We Are Now Education Rhee-Think #aprilfools

Is she playing quidditch? Nope. She's fixing our schools!

I have long been a critic of the policies and the ideology of Michelle Rhee. Two years in the classroom did not seem like adequate training for the job as the chancellor of Washington D.C. schools. I found the the duct tape incident to be sickening and I found the firing of a beloved principal on national television to be almost as sickening.

But I was wrong.

Look at the data. Those D.C. schools improved. All of them. And though they crashed when she left, that just goes to show you how important she was. Michelle Rhee was the Peyton Manning of superintendents. She was a super-superintendent, intending in the most super of all ways!

Her hard-nose policies are what our lazy American teachers need. We've already seen the data. VAM scores are working out perfectly. Merit pay will increase the teachers' intrinsic motivation, leading to harder work. No, really. Unlike the steroid scandal in baseball, the corruption in Wall Street and the lying of Enron, high-pressure, high-stakes merit pay will work. Teachers won't cheat, not when their compliance-based policies guide them toward teaching to the test.

We will, for the first time ever, truly be putting Students First! It's the only way we will win the pissing contest against China, India, Singapore and every other country Americans can't identify on the map. We will be a superpower again, not by the tenacity of our military and the stockpile of nuclear weapons, but by the weapons of mass instruction that we will drop on the eastern hemisphere.

And so, it is for that reason, that I am handing over the rights to this blog to Michelle Rhee.
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John Spencer

John Spencer is a teacher, author, speaker, and incessant doodler. He is the co-author of Wendell the World's Worst Wizard and the co-founder of Write About. He is passionate about helping students develop into better writers and deeper thinkers.

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5 comments:

  1. You have said so yourself that you do not support attacking individual people. What makes Michelle Rhee any different?

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    Replies
    1. Apparently, an understanding of satire does not come with being anonymous.

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  2. Here's the thing, Anonymous: Even if John's post WASN'T satire -- and the fact that it was posted on April Fool's Day should have given that away -- Rhee deserves every bit of the criticism that she gets.

    She has single-handedly pushed policies forward that have destroyed education. There's no denying it and no excusing it -- so I have no problem with anyone criticizing it openly and loudly.

    BTW: Why don't you write a rebuttal to John's post and put your name to it?

    You seem to like to throw pot-shots, but you'd be more credible if you articulated your own thinking and stood behind it.

    #justsayin

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    Replies
    1. I love your responses to Anonymous. As always, you've nailed it.

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